Better Human
Long before Samuel could pray for himself, his mother Hannah prayed for him. She poured out her heart to God in tears and asked for a son. When he was still small, she brought him to the LORD’s house at Shiloh and told Eli the priest what God had done.
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him.”
1 Samuel 1:27
Praying for your children often comes naturally. Praying with them can feel harder. Maybe you didn’t grow up praying out loud, or you worry about saying the wrong thing. Children make it easier than you think. They are honest and curious, and they don’t need you to sound polished.
Here are simple ways to start, and to keep going.
Start small
Prayer is talking with God, and short, honest prayers are welcome. Jesus told his followers they didn’t need many words, “for your Father knows what things you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:8).
- Pray where they can hear you. Children learn to pray by listening to you. A sentence before a meal or in the car is enough.
- Use your own words. “Thank you, God, for this food and for our family. Amen.” That’s a real prayer.
- Invite, and never force. Ask, “Would you like to pray, or shall I?” and let your child pass.
- Try one-word prayers. Go around the table, and each person names one thing they are thankful for. Then say amen together.
Bedtime prayers
Bedtime is the easiest place to begin. The day is done, the lights are low, and children often open up once they are tucked in. A simple pattern helps.
- Thank. Ask, “What was the best part of today?” and thank God for it together.
- Sorry. Ask if there is anything they want to say sorry for. Keep it gentle and short.
- Please. Ask who you should pray for. A friend, a grandparent, tomorrow’s spelling test.
- Bless. End by speaking a blessing over your child.
The blessing God gave Aaron to speak over Israel is a lovely one for a sleepy child.
“The LORD bless you, and keep you. The LORD make his face to shine on you, and be gracious to you. The LORD lift up his face toward you, and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24–26
Little ones also like a prayer they can learn by heart. “Dear God, thank you for today. Please keep me safe tonight, and help me love you and love others tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.” For a verse to learn together, try Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me live in safety.”
The five-finger prayer
The five-finger prayer gives each finger a group of people to pray for. It is easy for children to remember, because the list is right there on their hand. Start with the thumb and move one finger at a time.
- Thumb. It is closest to you, so pray for the people closest to you, like family and friends.
- Pointer finger. It points the way, so pray for people who teach and help you, like teachers, pastors, doctors and coaches.
- Middle finger. It is the tallest, so pray for leaders in your town, your country and your church.
- Ring finger. It is the weakest finger, so pray for people who are sick, sad or having a hard time.
- Little finger. It is the smallest, so pray for yourself last.
Some nights you will get through all five. Some nights you will stop at the thumb. Both are fine.
Praying through worries
Children worry about the dark, about school, about a sick pet, about something they overheard. Prayer gives those worries somewhere to go.
“In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6–7
- Name it. Ask your child to say the worry out loud, then tell God about it in their own words.
- Hand it over. Have your child hold the worry in cupped hands, then open them as you pray, giving it to God.
- Learn a short verse. “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3) is easy to remember in the dark.
- Pray, then act. After praying about a fight with a friend, help your child think of one kind thing to do tomorrow.
If a worry is big or won’t go away, keep praying and also talk with your child’s doctor. Prayer and practical help belong together.
Praying with thanks
Thankful prayers balance worried ones. When Jesus healed ten men, only one came back to thank him, and Jesus noticed (Luke 17:11–19). Children can practice thanks the way they practice anything else.
“Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16–18
- Name three good things from the day at dinner.
- Play ABC thanks on a car ride, with one thing for each letter.
- Keep a thank-you jar, and read the notes together at the end of the month.
Making it a habit
Jesus told a parable so his disciples would know “that they must always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1). Habits grow best when they are tied to something you already do.
- Attach prayer to daily moments. Meals, the drive to school, bath time and bedtime come every day.
- Keep it short. One to three minutes is plenty for young children.
- Keep a family prayer list. Write requests on the fridge and note how God answers. Looking back builds faith.
- Take turns leading. Let your child pray for the family at dinner now and then.
- Give yourself grace. You will miss nights. Start again the next one.
When kids ask hard questions
Sooner or later your child will ask a hard question. “Why didn’t God answer my prayer?” “Can God hear me if I pray in my head?” “Why did Grandpa die when we prayed for him?” These questions are a good sign. Your child is taking God seriously, and you don’t need every answer.
- Welcome the question. Say, “That’s a really good question. I wonder about that too.”
- Tell the truth simply. God always hears us. Sometimes his answer is yes, sometimes no and sometimes wait, and he knows what we need.
- Point to what you know. God hears, God cares, and God is close when we are sad. “The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart” (Psalm 34:18).
- Be honest about what you don’t know. It’s fine to say, “I don’t know all the answers. I do trust God.”
- Find answers together. Read the passage, or ask your pastor with your child beside you. Kids learn that grown-ups keep learning too.
And when you are the one out of words, Scripture says the Spirit helps us, “for we don’t know how to pray as we ought” (Romans 8:26).
A little help at bedtime
If you would like help with the bedtime part, Better Human, our iPhone app coming soon to the App Store, can remind you when it's story time, and each of its 31 Bible story films ends with what it teaches and a short prayer you can say together.
Most of all, keep going. Your child is learning that God is someone they can talk to anytime.
“Allow the little children, and don’t forbid them to come to me; for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to ones like these.”
Matthew 19:14